As women we find comfort in having a few very dear friends, with whom we find encouraging to confide in and discuss troubles, hurts and pain. This is my struggle. My conviction. The very fine line between discussion for advice and gossip is paper thin. As I’ve noticed in my own life, I have been hurt very deeply by words, assumptions and gossip. But God has recently opened my eyes and shown me that my reaction to this pain; confiding in my very close girlfriends to process these hurts; it exactly the same behavior that created resentment and distrust in my heart. Our words, once spoken, cannot be withdrawn. And the fury of the fire of words once spoken cannot be contained. Even though our intention is support or advice, when the words we speak are not kind. Or not necessary. Or not uplifting someone else. It is gossip. There are so many elements to proper Christlike speech, we have to ask ourselves despite our need for consult; can we just simply give these hurts to God. The untamed tongue speaks gossip, cursing, bragging, lies, flattery, discouraging words to others, and manipulation. It may feel like simple conversation, but is it necessary? Imagine a conversation that did not include words of an untamed tongue, how uplifting and positive that would be. From my experience the distance I feel between God and I, when I indulge my untamed tongue, is very obviously. I have not given my hurts to God and am not trusting Him to mend my broken spirit. Buried resentment and hurt creates a void in your relationship with God. Are you experiencing this yourself?
“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 19:21
I’ve noticed that with motherhood; especially, there is so much comparison and judging. As mothers, as women, we should be encouraging and positive. We should be honest and truthful. We should be loving and helpful. Be shouldn’t be criticizing one another. We are doing the best we can. We all have the best of intentions with our children. Our homes. Our husbands. Ourselves. Our Christian walk. Yet we resort to discouraging words. Why? Satan. When our speech is motivated by Satan our words are those of jealousy, selfishness, pride, personal ambition, hurtful thoughts and worldly desires. We need God’s help to speak words of peace, love, patience, genuineness, and truthfulness.
“Gentle words are the tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” Proverbs 15:4
It is difficult to gain absolute, perfect control of our tongues, but with the help of the Holy Spirit in our lives we can learn self-control. The Holy Spirit will remind us in times when we are hurt or offended, that God’s love for us can heal those hurts and help us to practice self-control and not lash out with unkind words.
I pray for you. I pray for peace and gentleness in your thoughts and words. I pray that God will help me practice self-control with my words and reactions. I pray that we would all find our strength in God and allow the Holy Spirit to work in us to speak words of encouragement. To speak loving words, kinds words.
“If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself; and your religion is worthless.” James 1:26
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